Colleen (colleenn) wrote in rambling_writer,

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These were posted awhile back on the WSS for a goat challenge that val and I gave each other. I wrote 4 variations but I only included the 2 I liked the best.

Pairing: H/D
Rating: PG-13 to R
Summary: Harry. Draco. An unexpected visitor...and even more unexpected results of the visitor.
Notes: Paul Martin is the current PM of Canada. He may be a lying snake but he actually looks like a goat...Harper is the leader of the opposition (Conservative) and hopefully the future PM. He's not great but at least he's more honest than Martin...I'll get off my soapbox now.

"Bleeeet." The pathetic sounds of a lonely goat filled the almost empty tower room. The creature looked at the two young men in front of it, its blue eyes sad and pleading. The two young men didn't seem to care though. At the moment they seemed to be having a battle to see whose tongue could be more dominant. Occasionally snippets of conversation could be heard but they didn't raise the hopes of the goat.
"The Goat."-"Screw the goat."-"Ugh, Malfoy, that's a bit much, even for you."-"Oh, fuck off, Potter-oh, Merlin, yes, right there."-"How are we going to explain this."-"Just tell the truth, after all, you're a Gryffindor."-a groan-"Right, sorry Prof. Dumbledore, Malfoy and I were shagging like bunnies when the Muggle Prime Minister wandered in and the first words out of my mouth were, 'hircinium."-"Mm, that's good, I don't see why not. What was with that spell, anywaaaa-damn, Potter, you do have a wicked tongue."-another groan-"Word association. The prat looks like a goat."
At that the conversation ceased and a random charm was thrown out, blocking the goat's vision. The only thing running through the goat's mind was, "Fuck. Harper's never going to let me live this down. That's the last time I do the Canadian Magical Alliance's dirty work, no matter how good it looks for the polls."


"Er, yeah?"
"What the fuck was that?"
"Um. I may have just turned that Muggle Prime Minister into a goat."
"And why's that, you git of a Gryffindor?"
A slight blush spread across said Gryffindor's face, "Malfoy!" the young man hissed, "how the fuck am I supposed to explain-he waved his hand at the two of them, currently in a very compromising position-this?"
"A simple 'bugger off while my boyfriend buggers me' would suffice," came the sarcastic drawl, "honestly, Potter, you'd think you were a Hufflepuff sometimes."
"Well excuse me for trying to save our asses. You know Snape would kill us if he found out we used his desk to shag."
"Bleeet" Two heads swivelled around at the sound. Glaring at the goat, the blonde Slytherin did the only thing he could think of, "Silencio!"
"What? He was ruining my concentration," he bit lightly on the dark haired man's shoulder, "now hush up unless it's to tell me how much of a sex-god I am."
The banter stopped and the only sounds coming from the room were ragged breathing and the occasional moan.
The goat sat there waiting, all the while thinking, "how the fuck am I going to explain this to Harper? This is the last time I do Ambassador work-that's a lackey's job. Or an NDP's."
Tags: goat, hp, hp/dm
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